gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
