I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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