haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
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