Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
