my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
