if one more of _____'s family tells me "you're next" i'm going to shoot myself. Thank god for gin (most protestant phrase ever at the most Jewish wedding ever)
Ask for a julep and start talking about how you much prefer the uncircumsized peen. that should probably stop them.
I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
That's when you crack a 10am beer
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Randomize
