The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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