You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Randomize
