you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
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