Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Randomize
