Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
