Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
im six kinds of drunk right now
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Randomize
