Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
