Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
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