Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
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