make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
