I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
