yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Fuck me I smell like cheese
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
