Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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