some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
