So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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