The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Randomize
