he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
