ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Randomize
