Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
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