Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
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