Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize
