Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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