Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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