So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
This can only be settled by a dance off.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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