Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
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