when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Randomize
