Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
4 words: hood of his car
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
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