This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Randomize
