just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize
