Duck Duck Cougar?
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Randomize
