After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Randomize
