A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Randomize
