btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Randomize
