You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
Randomize
