Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Hello Stephanie, you need to come pick me up at Par Blvrd correctional facility and bring $750-$1000 for bail. I just got a DUI. Thank you.
What!?!?! How are you txting?!
Because this is Officer Reynolds, and I just arrested your boyfriend.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
