so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
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