Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
where are my eyebrows?
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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