he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
he's gonorrhea incarnate
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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