ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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