i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
