And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
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