dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Is Oprah even human
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
