I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Randomize
