She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
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