Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
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