people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
