i jhust puked up my retainher.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
