Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
