I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
